You can't discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore because only those who risk can tell how far they can go.

What I really want………..

June 29, 2008

We always hear people  say " I want freedom " , but do we really want it?

For the past few days, I stay and work late in the office with the reason that I have nothing to do in the apartment when I get there. No one to talk to, or share dinner with. My housemates has there own business to deal with and I don’t have the right to interfere it. We barely see each other or have a decent talk… I just missed them and wanted to have sometime with them…

Usually Im alone, free and independent.  I just realize that I really don’t want to be free but to be committed. To be with someone who loves me and share dinner with. I guess no one wants to grow old alone…

 

Posted by cathyeresera at 1:15 pm | permalink | Add comment

Freedom…..

June 23, 2008

Many people fought to have freedom, but what really is Freedom? Is Freedom means free of doing something or anything you want?

 I’ve spent a night contemplating what kind of freedom I am fighthing for.  The more  I think about the more I felt I was wrecked by my own thoughts…. (more…)

Posted by cathyeresera at 7:26 pm | permalink | comments[1]

skating through life…..

June 21, 2008

It’s our Friday off in the office, which the aim is to promote work life balance which is sooo nice. As for me, single, away from home, sometimes drives me crazy with nothing to do for three days.  I decided to come in to the office for me to do something and be productive. I organized my desk, check emails, and worked on some of my to do list.

I have been quite sad and lonely lately.  How I missed a different me….happy, cheerful, easy to be with, have a positive attitude…

Now, I’m looking at the pictures during our Ice skating get away…Adventure that brings happy memories. It was last April, when a good friend invited me to try ice skating. I was hesitant at first because I never tried it before, even roller blades….but its something I admire people who could skate and confident enough. Part of me wants to try it , so I agreed.  We purchased a ticket with unlimited hours so we could really enjoy it. Excitement filled me that I could no longer wait and try it.

We entered in the ice skating ring, with my knees shaking, and I was sweating despite the freezing temperature. I could not move, nor try to move because anytime I could fell down and I’m so afraid to take it.  My friend decided to hire an Instructor for me to teach me the basics for 30 mins. She left  me inside the ice skating ring to find the right instructor for me.  I was there in the middle, helpless and could not move.  It was then that I thought I could no longer just stand like a stick in the middle of the ice.  I tried to observe and watch the skaters how they glide without the fear to fell down. I said to myself I should try it and put my heart to it. I started to walk step by step and it feels good that slowly I am moving. It was then that the instructor came and teaches me the basics. He thought me first how to walk and how to balance.  Im scared and wishful to learn it in an instant. 30 mins was over and I just learned how to walk in the ice. It was not all because of my instructor but because I want to move and conquer the fear I kept inside me.   We just realized it was closing time and we need to go home. It was 11pm in the evening and we are so tired that we spent another day to rest. (more…)

Posted by cathyeresera at 10:18 am | permalink | Add comment

God is sooo good………

June 18, 2008


Being the eldest in the family was so hard. I have 3 siblings and 2 is in college now. Much more, when the family is financially challenged.  This past few  moths/days I have been financially and emotionally disturb. Taking much responsibilities for my family is both fulfilling and sad. Sometimes its so sad that I could not give enough  help for my family. It really pierce my heart. Sometimes I would have my escapade in my dreamland to just give me hope and look forward for tomorrow.   (more…)

Posted by cathyeresera at 7:56 pm | permalink | Add comment

wishful thinking….

Here i am keep on wondering… I keep on thinking of Mr. Big last night…It was months of no communication, 6 days after a breakup letter but i felt it was sooo long…. I was so confused/burst out with wild mixture  of emotions because of an email. It awakens all the feelings I kept in a secret box inside me.

 Yesterday, I recieved an email with the subject: ERRATA for your blog. Seeing the sender name made my stomach leap.  When I read the letter line by line, tears keep falling down my face. The email was about what I think and my post last saturday . He captured some of the lines and point out whats his side. (more…)

Posted by cathyeresera at 12:03 pm | permalink | comments[1]

Cold War or end of war?

June 14, 2008


Is relationship like a bottle of wine that tastes even better when fermented for a long time?  This question is bugging me for a while and I need to do something about it and decided to put it in writing.

Its Saturday and I don’t know what to do, I just thought that laziness empowers me. I just stay in bed for the  12 hrs without eating something and thinking what else to do for the rest of the day without realizing the day is ending. I am kind of laying low today. I decided to take a nice bath to sweep the laziness out of me – a start of my day indeed.

Here I am now writing what’s with my mind and heart back then.. It’s a fact that I can’t still get over with my past relationship -the relationship that lasted for 6yrs with the guy Im talking in my previous write ups. Well, I should better give him a pet name.. huh… Hmmm. I’ll call him Mr Big – not because I love Sex and the city but I could relate to the movie personally. 

Relationship was great during the first year, not seeing him could make your stomach leap. As the year goes by, there were a lot of conflicts and misunderstandings, however we have manage to go through a lot of those. Have we really? Or those misunderstanding s, conflict issues was just gone temporarily and eventually will come back? (more…)

Posted by cathyeresera at 9:26 pm | permalink | Add comment

Sex and the city mania…

June 11, 2008

I can’t still get over with the ‘Sex and the City’ mania. As for me who has never ever watched the HBO episode, I can finally understand what all the hype was about because I absolutely don’t waste time to watch the series.  I bought 3 DVD’s of every season of the HBO series and watched it over the weekend from beginning to end.    Oh my gosh!  From the fashion, shoes, Handbags, New York, and characters - this was one of the best movies I’ve seen.

 

 

 

Carrie(2nd left)   : party girl, faschinista, New York newspaper columnist and later, freelance writer for Vogue. She enjoys cocktails, at heart, an old fashioned girl and is deeply romantic. She is on an endless search for true love, and refuses to settle for, as she puts it "anything less than butterflies".Loves shoes…

Samantha(right)   : a woman that loves herself and and all her imperfections. She has a successful career, an amazing self confidence, and know how to make things happen. She’s lovable, loyal friend, outspoken,strong, brutally honest, funny - and happy just the way she is.

Miranda (2nd right): a mother, wife, a friend, and a career-minded lawyer. A workaholic personality, but soon finds a way  to balance career. 

Charlotte (left): she is the most conservative and positive of the group, the one who places the most emphasis on emotional love, always searching for Mr. right.  She is a "stright A "student and popular during her college

 Which character you are most like? 

I am thinking I’m the combination of four.  Carrie-30, Samantha -20, Miranda-25, Charlotte - 25 . Hmmm… What do you think?

 

BE FABULOUS!

Posted by cathyeresera at 12:16 pm | permalink | Add comment

Looking back… March 18, 2002

June 6, 2008

I was organizing my things in my cabinet when I found my 2002 journal. When I was browsing my journal it caught my attention and found myself reading the page dated March 18, 2002. Yes, 7 years ago. I was still in 1st year college then. When I was reading the lines I was brought back to the past - as if a flash back.  I was a 1st year college  in my 2nd semester term which will almost end.  I was inlove, happy, sad and lonely - i could still remember vividly.  I was in- love with my friend which turned out to be my classmate in Software Engineering Course.  We were so close and usually end up in the same group whenever theres class projects.  We usually  spend our free time together and during our afternoon classes we hangout to the football field, with something to eat in hands and talk about our subjects, life, goals, dreams, and stay there until 6:30pm and sometimes the guard would just  whistle us to get out of the field because its already 8:30 in the evening. We would just giggle and laugh. We eat lunch and dinner together. We study together, and he would teach me sometimes in my math subjects when I have a hard time coping up. 

We are just renting a place to stay with and he has apartment which he shares with his cousins, me Im staying in a boarding house 250meters away from his place. Every Friday after our class I usually go home to my hometown. He would accompany me to the bus terminal and after I leave he would hangout to SM City Mall. When I get back every Sunday we go to 6:00 pm mass at Saint Joseph Church together and eat dinner together.  It was really a great time with him. (more…)

Posted by cathyeresera at 8:43 pm | permalink | Add comment

Alone….

June 5, 2008

 I have been very excited for the Sex and the City  movie. Last Saturday, at 6:00 pm, I have my hair cut and decided to watch the movie.  I arrived at the movie theater at Glorietta at 8:00pm purchased tickets in hand. I feel like eating ice cream so I bought 16oz  rocky road at DQ and ready to go inside with myself. It’s a little bit uneasy to be alone watching movie at the theater - well not alone in the sense that no one is in the theater except me.. in fact its almost full. Im early, the movie will start at 8:30 pm. Im very excited..

The experience of seeing the movie was so amazing, more -so if have with me my friends. It was for women, to be watched with women.

The movie was so beautiful, and interesting, sometimes dissappionting. I laughed, cried, felt embarrassed, happy, angry, wild mixture of feelings. It was a full experience and would not be tired of watching it over and over again.

Of course, what else I can say  about the fantastic clothes, shoes, bags - truely fashion which every woman wished to experience.

Posted by cathyeresera at 6:25 pm | permalink | Add comment

Love at first sight…. ?

June 4, 2008

 

                                                    

I recently met a person in a totally "chance" setting. It all happened in starbucks at the 6th floor of Shangri -La Mall Ortigas….I was about to go home and had my total attention on may way. I sensed someone staring at me. Without hesitation, I glanced at the person to acknowledge his presence, but I felt something different and caught myself into half smile state. When we made I eye-contact, for just a split of second ,I coudn’t speak. As if time stopped for a while. I KNEW this person, but I’d never seen him before. It was not a physical admiration, and it wasn’t frightening - just irresistible. We exchanged few words and there was a wild mixture of sense of ease. As we parted, I coudn’t stop smilling and barely slept that night. A part of me hoping to see him again and know him better… who knows…

Do you believe in love in "love at first sight" ?

I do.

"Love at first sight is an emotional condition whereby a person feels romantic attraction for a stranger on the first encounter with the stranger. "

For me, love at first sight is the beginning which there would be no reason . It is a magical state that allows the relationship to develop over the long term. Love can be nortured and it would  require  commitment for it to last forever.

 

Posted by cathyeresera at 12:25 pm | permalink | Add comment

     

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About Me

- Im still 'Catherine' in the catalogue, but Im 'Cathey or Cath' everywhere else. See through my eyes and you would know who really am...

    

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Hello..thanks for dropping by…its been a whle i have not updated this blog..

flor:

hi have a nice day

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