I am still me……

 Im still ’Catherine’ in the catalogue, but Im ‘Cathey or Cath’ everywhere else. When you look at me, what you’ll see is a mediocre girl who seems to be happy and keep on smilling…What I know about my self is that I am simple and have a simple dreams in life.. I am a simple girl who likes to listen to Pasenger’s Seat, Air Supply, My chemical Romance, The Corrs, etc. I watch movies like Harry Potter, The Notebook, Serendipity, Superman, Transformers, and a lot more. I read books like The alchemist, Coelho books, Daniel Steel, Judith Mcnaught, Alcott, and a lot more. I drink apple juice, orange juice, four seasons, pineapple juice, yakult,etc…. I love anything with chocolate, anything Filipino food. I visit bench, penshoppe, mendrez, sm mall… hangs out in my room lately. Attend 4pm mass every sunday at Greenbelt. Loves photography…obsessed with architecture, tall buildings, and nature. I am a simple person who is happy when im around with my friends. One thing that i’ve learned so far, To love somebody is like a gamble. You need to know how much you would go through. If you’ve chosen the wrong person surely you’ll be in fibrillation, but if you’ve found the "right one" you’ll have a normal sinus rhythm forever…

I am dreaming of a simple life, to wake up every morning with the person I love most  and loves me so much. I could spend my life with, without holding back. A person whom i can trust, lean on, I could talk anything under the sun.. A life which both of you planned and work out… who knows what life’s ahead of us…

"Purest of Pain"

"Purest of Pain"

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to call
but I couldn’t fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn’t even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I’m gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there’s something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I’m dying
I have to see you it’s all that I’m asking.
Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day’s are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I’m feeling better every day
that it didn’t hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can’t find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I’m dying
I have to see you it’s all that I’m asking.
Vida, give me back…

Eerie fire

You wrote this poem when we were still friends. It was the time when I’m so confused and deserting myself from you. I felt the relief when i distance myself and keep it deep within.  It was a strugle though, but then …

There stand the wall of the fool
Crafted so finely;
To withstand any calamity
May it be storm, flood or earthquake.

Deep within the core of the wall
An eerie fire en-kindled itself
Brought by destruction;
Destruction such as chaos, unlawfulness and war.

Thus, the wall began to crumble
breaks itself piece by piece
Losing its own self.
Another gust of the wind
and it will be gone forever.

But the light of Venus
Shine through the dark clouds
and strike the wall
with tremendous impact

So the wall, now illuminated b the light
Started to rebuild its old self
It again grab hold of the ground
and it became stronger than ever.

But the eerie fire’s blaze is so intense
that it can’t be stop b ordinary means
But within the help of the light
The blaze is minimized and
the wall made it through.

Now, the threat is greater than before.
The light started to flicker
The wall, now fully dependent on the light
Will have its great fall when the light dies out.

Untitled….

Yesterday when I was lying in bed looking nowhere and feeling awfully bored with life in this great world, a thought appeared, its been a while since we spent our weekends together. Its been a while that we have a great time. remembering the times when we laugh till our stomach aches…none that i can remember though…

Looking back with the past, tears run down on my face. Feeling so cold and empty. I was thingking then that life is so beautiful spending with you, until sometime I have realized that things were not the same as I imagined it to be. You have changed and so do I. Changed that brought us to have our own separate life. It had been very painful when I had nobody but myself when I went through some of my greatest chalenges. I could cling to no one for I felt that everybody abandoned me. I have fallen vulnerably from the pedestal and what hurts me when theres nobody to catch me. I broke myself into despair and ironically solve the pieces of the puzzle to its form. The scars have clung on me. I was able to make it , but sadly it was no longer me.

Right now, im slowly adjusting and blending myself to the environment. I don’t know whom to trust, whom to cling on, whom to bond with. I am just afraid that one day, someone would come along and disturb my silent world and will disbond me from the people who are holding me. Somehow I need a buffer….but who’s willing to do so? A question i could not answer……….

It would take a lifetime

It would take  me a lifetime to list all the reasons why I love you so much…

It would take me forever to find the right words for all the things I would like to express for all the deeply reassuring  feelings I have felt in our acceptance of me; and

It would take eternity to give you back even half of the happiness you’ve given me..

But until forever is here….

Until lifetime is lived…

And untl eternity gives me a chance to say everything…

I will hold you in my heart more gently than any feeling

I will keep you in my mind more lovingly than any thought

And I will feel blessed by your presence, more than you will ever know.

I can’t find words to express this feeling inside, all i wish is for you to be happy not only for this day but forever..

Love

Love can neither be denied nor can be forced it flows like a stream out of you, me and the rest of the world. Each of us somewhere somehow must have experienced this unexplainable condition and its intensity.